Liberal Vision

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Brigadier Lumley launched a surprise assault on Westminster today just 24 hours after some sort of ceasefire had been negotiated.

With military-like precision, and cat-like speed, she separated the opposition forces. General Brown was lucky to evade the Gurkha advancement, but Lieutenant Phil Woolas was outflanked and left behind enemy lines without any support in site.

He had no other option than to enter into a further round of humiliating surrender talks – a meeting held in front of the BBC no less. He was then frog-marched by Brigadier Lumley and her troops to the assembled Westminister Press where she explained in no uncertain terms what she would be doing. If  I understand her correctly – and Mr Woolas certainly did not contradict her at any point (not that he was in any position to as he was “kebab-ed” between “the Brig” and one of her commanders) – SHE is now writing the policy on the Gurkhas immigration claims.

It would seem that Nick might be too late to offer Ms Lumley a seat on the Lib Dem Lords benches. She is already running the country.

Another day when the media was awash with Lib Dem sound bites. Good job.

Not sure if the West Indes Cricket team or the UK Government were the more humiliated today.

Tags: Gurkhas, Joanna Lumley, phil woolas

Next step for Lumley…the House of Lords?

Given how much Nick Clegg has been in the media spotlight over the last few weeks (looking and sounding like a man with real passion and conviction)..if he does not nominate Joanna Lumley to join the Lib Dem benches in the Lords at the next opportunity I will eat my hat.

Tags: Gurkhas, Joanna Lumley, Nick Clegg

“It’s the women that did for him”

What’s the betting that the history books on Gordon Brown’s demise will state “it’s the women that finally did for him”.

Jacqui Smith, Harriet Harman, Hazel Blears, Joanna Lumley and incredibly Camilla Parker Bowles (who seems to be the “mysterious” senior Royal who  wrote to Joanna Lumley offering private support for her Gurkha campaign) have all played their part in recent weeks in bringing Gordon Brown’s downfall that bit closer.

I have always thought Gordon to be a “man’s man”. More at ease in the company of his own kind (Draper, McBride, Whelan etc) rather than dealing with the far more complex fairer sex. They can be so darn tricky these women.

Rumors are that Smith and Blears will be swiftly dealt with at the next Government reshuffle. With the more controllable Yvette Cooper promoted yet again (…well you must have some women in the Cabinet and best to have ones that are married to a mate so that he can be tasked with keeping her under control).

Ms Harman, Lumley and Parker Bowles are more difficult to deal with. Best to just ignore them if possible and hope they go away. Fat Chance Gordon.

(ps better still why not have a meeting wth one of them, say Ms Lumley, and then get your aides to go on the record disagreeing with her interpretation of events, that should sort things nicely….).

Update :  As has been pointed out to me… I should add that Heather Brooke deserves her name up there too.

Tags: Camilla Parker Bowles, Gordon Brown, Harriet Harman, Hazel Blears, Jacqui Smith, Joanna Lumley

Hung Parliament – the photo op that exposes Clegg’s strategy

I punched the air when I saw the impromptu photo op outside St. Stephen’s gate after the Ghurkas victory. Am I the only one who hopes this signals Nick Clegg’s future coalition strategy…?

…because in the event of a hung Parliament, I’m well up for a coalition with Joanna Lumley.

Tags: David Cameron, Gurkhas, Joanna Lumley, Liberal Democrats, Nick Clegg