I know this video has been circling around the interwebby for a few days but I hope you’ll see why I felt this was worth posting. It’s not everyday you see politicians act in a way that is truly beautiful and very brave.
It is always good to see something that serves as a reminder that we live in an era where there as never been so much liberty. We should be grateful for it, we should use it to remind ourselves what is at stake if we lose and we should strengthen our resolve to fight the numerous remaining injustices that blight. If you have a spare twelve minutes please watch this video.
I have no enemies, and no hatred. None of the police who monitored, arrested and interrogated me, the prosecutors who prosecuted me, or the judges who sentence me, are my enemies. While I’m unable to accept your surveillance, arrest, prosecution or sentencing, I respect your professions and personalities…..
I firmly believe that China’s political progress will never stop, and I’m full of optimistic expectations of freedom coming to China in the future, because no force can block the human desire for freedom. China will eventually become a country of the rule of law in which human rights are supreme. I’m also looking forward to such progress being reflected in the trial of this case, and look forward to the full court’s just verdict ——one that can stand the test of history.
Ask me what has been my most fortunate experience of the past two decades, and I’d say it was gaining the selfless love of my wife, Liu Xia. She cannot be present in the courtroom today, but I still want to tell you, my sweetheart, that I’m confident that your love for me will be as always. Over the years, in my non-free life, our love has contained bitterness imposed by the external environment, but is boundless in afterthought. I am sentenced to a visible prison while you are waiting in an invisible one. Your love is sunlight that transcends prison walls and bars, stroking every inch of my skin, warming my every cell, letting me maintain my inner calm, magnanimous and bright, so that every minute in prison is full of meaning. But my love for you is full of guilt and regret, sometimes heavy enough hobble my steps. I am a hard stone in the wilderness, putting up with the pummeling of raging storms, and too cold for anyone to dare touch. But my love is hard, sharp, and can penetrate any obstacles. Even if I am crushed into powder, I will embrace you with the ashes….
I hope to be the last victim of China’s endless literary inquisition, and that after this no one else will ever be jailed for their speech.
Freedom of expression is the basis of human rights, the source of humanity and the mother of truth. To block freedom of speech is to trample on human rights, to strangle humanity and to suppress the truth.
I do not feel guilty for following my constitutional right to freedom of expression, for fulfilling my social responsibility as a Chinese citizen. Even if accused of it, I would have no complaints.
Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you the Old Spice ads. In what has been one of the most clever marketing campaigns this year, sales of Old Spice products have sky rocketed from a prolonged lull. No longer the scent of your dad, or just old men in general, the adverts featuring ebony adonis Isaiah Mustafa have reinvigorated the Old Spice brand.
This advert is an egregious play on hyper-masculine stereotypes. The caption underneath this video on Youtube is as follows: “We’re not saying this body wash will make your man smell into a romantic millionaire jet fighter pilot, but we are insinuating it.
Surely, then, it is only a matter of time before Jo Swinson and Lynne Featherstone condemn these adverts? Afterall Old Spice openly mocks their consumers for not being able to ever look like Mustafa. Previously when criticising the “Real Women” campaign I was not over-inundated with adverts displaying the male equivalent. Some would interpret this as rendering my arguments invalid.
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However, were a Victoria’s Secret model to star in an advert admitting she has a level of beauty unattainable to most of the female population I happily wager that Swinson and Featherstone would condemn it within hours.
If I apply the narrative that was used to defend the Real Woman campaign to the Old Spice ads it goes something like this: “The self esteem of young boys might be harmed when they realise they can’t swan dive into a hot tub which has a motorcycle in it. These adverts should contain a warning that Mustafa has only be able to accomplish these feats with the aid of computer alteration. What about our SONS?!?! Will no one think of the Children?!”
Obviously that’s completely ludicrous.
Luckily something tells me there won’t be a motion at Conference condemning the Old Spice ads. But sadly, I fear it won’t be because they’ve come to the conclusion that politicians shouldn’t be responsible for our self-esteem. I would pity the poor souls who open their mail if they were. Can you imagine:
Dear Michael Gove*,
This month’s Cosmo came out to day and I’m feeling a bit shit…
Kind Regards,
Sara Scarlett
[*My local MP. Aren't I lucky...]
The fact of the matter is there won’t be the same out-cry over the Old Spice ads because even if they’re making men all over the western world feel inferior - men don’t like to victimise themselves in the same way women do. The Real Woman campaign completely codified the collective self-pity of a fraction of women. It was wrapped in a bunch of other, more worthy, issues to shove it through conference. It sent out the message that it was okay to absolve yourself of responsibility for your own self-esteem; a message that does women no favours.
Having seen candids (un-airbrushed paparazzi pics) of Isaiah Mustafa – I can attest to the fact that he is as lovely without the aid of computer wizardry as he is in the Old Spice ads. In the same way that Elle MacPherson is stunning in candids too. So until good looks can be redistibuted equally there’s no escaping the reality that some people are just better looking than others. No amount of nannying from busy-body politicians is going change that.
“I say Hermione, it’s polling day!! Are you going to vote?”
“Of course I am, Harry! Who are you going to vote for?!”
“It’s a secret ballot, Hermione!!”
“Not for long, Harry – ballotius revealiarmus!!”
“Wait, Hermione … no!!”
“Oh my fuck?! Why Harry, you’re a LibDem?!”
“So I am, Hermione – what of it?!”
“I’m not going to lie Harry – Hogwarts is a bit Tory, at least in the early movies. In the later movies they’ve made more of an effort to look a bit more ‘comprehensive’. JK’s a friend of Gordo’s you know…”
What’s that?! The dialogues unconvincing you say?! Ok, so I won’t be quitting my day job anytime soon. But the good news is the Daniel Radcliffe, star of the Harry Potter movies is a supporter of the LibDems!! In a recent interview with the Attitude magazine (picked up by the Sun), Radcliffe expressed being thoroughly unimpressed with David Cameron:
“David Cameron is barely distinguishable from Tony Blair.”
I heartily concur! He further bemoaned the centricity of modern politics:
“I think the reason why people don’t vote is because the politicians are all so central now, it doesn’t seem to matter who you vote for.”
After stating:
“If all the people who liked them voted for [the LibDems] you could change politics overnight and we could have a proper three party system.”
Harry Potter and the Single Transferable Vote, baby!! This is a dream come true. Get thee a direct debit form!! If we can get Daniel to come to Liberal Youth Conference next time – it might be worth braving the machetes hurtling in my direction to attend!! Hmm, Harry Potter and the Point of Order, Harry Potter and the Unsafe Seat, Harry Potter and the Ambiguous Sexuality… Alright, I’ll stop now, but in all fairness you should have seen the ones I didn’t use! ; )
