Chavez: all that fun stuff is “hell”
Fresh from his latest efforts to ruin everything, Hugo Rafael Chavez has launched a scathing tirade on lots of fun stuff.
The Venezuelan despotic nut-job said in his Weekly Address to the Proletariat:
“[Capitalist countries] promote the need for cigarettes, drugs and alcohol so they can sell them.”
Having displayed this unparalleled ability to unravel the evils of ‘the West’, the Dear Leader concluded:
“That’s capitalism, the road to hell.”
Which is funny, because usually when I peer lovingly at a seemingly-perspiring chilled glass of gin & tonic I think: “Bejesus, this is the road from hell. Deliver me to happiness, my sparkling transparent friend!”
It turns out, strangely enough, that the real source of Mr Chavez’s ire is a piss-take of himself–in the form of a video game. So he explained, to gasps (or giggles) of his people:
“Those games they call ‘PlayStation’ are poison. Some games teach you to kill. They once put my face on a game; ‘you’ve got to find Chávez to kill him.’”
Find Chavez? Kill him?
It’s poison, readers, poison. Vive la revolution.
January 20th, 2010 at 10:30 am
I guess that explains why, after generations of communism, the former Soviet Union, former Eastern bloc and indeed the present People’s Republic of China are such booze- and tobacco-free bastions of clean living …
January 20th, 2010 at 12:53 pm
It also explains why Western governments have legalised recreational drugs and granted the patents to ‘Big Pharma’. Which they have, right?
January 20th, 2010 at 12:57 pm
Indeed – it’s all making so much sense today – thanks, Hugo!
January 20th, 2010 at 3:21 pm
Communist countries have always had to prevent their own people from escaping to the free world.
But stopping them escaping to a fantasy world?
He’ll be fulminating against day-dreaming next!