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Queen’s Speech: the Libertarian Draft

December 25th, 2009 Posted in Satire, UK Politics by

What a lot of people don’t know is Her Majesty the Queen of England, is in fact a rampant libertarian. Every year Elizabeth II writes a secret libertarian draft of her speech which is quickly dismissed by courtiers. Well, this year Liberal Vision has obtained a copy of that draft and is proud to publish it here:

Merry Christmas,

What we really, really want for Christmas is the real proletariat revolution, libertarianism.

Many would not think myself or my family to be, in any way, libertarian, yet my darling Phillip has been doing his bit for freedom of speech for quite some time now.

Some may say that inheriting a monarchy and being a Libertarian are mutually exclusive. Yet our system, with a ceremonial head of state and an elected premier is less expensive to the taxpayer than the elected head of the executive also carrying out ceremonial duties. So it’s all good, bruv.

For those of you who question the appropriateness of an unelected leader in this day and age, I ask you this: “where exactly have you been since June 2007?”

I’m not too upset with Gordon, to be honest with you. He has a good heart but he is more than a little dull and clearly incompetent. Which is an easy combination to endure when you know it’ll be over soon. I must admit I am more partial to the lovely Sarah than that dreadful Cherie woman… It is important to remember that we are a nation at war. So don’t forget that they’re actually my armies, Gordo. Treat them with respect.

So I wish you a Merry Christmas and for most of you merry will mean your grandparents being high as a kite from having mixed their morphine based arthritis medicine with Tesco Value Lumbrusco or just plain drunk. But whilst you loll about in self-induced food and liquor coma, which as a Libertarian I’m all for, in everything you do and whatever path you choose, think of ways you can make this country more free.

In 2010 I wish you all a happy life, liberty and an elected premier.

Happy New Year.

One Response to “Queen’s Speech: the Libertarian Draft”

  1. Arthur Reader Says:

    In 2010 I wish you all a happy life, liberty and an elected premier.

    And wish you a happy life, liberty and an elected head of state.

    You’re welcome.


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