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Monkey Capitalism

July 2nd, 2009 Posted in Uncategorized by

Scientists investigating the behaviour of monkeys have discovered the primates have a system of fluctuating prices and varying trade in goods and services.

monkeyThe New Scientist journal reports the findings in an article entitled:

Monkey “stock market” prone to fluctuations too

Monkeys, they found, have a flourishing market consisting of grooming services, food, and much to the shock of the conservative press, sex.

The value in these goods and services alters according to variations in supply and demand. So while bananas are abundant, one banana might equal half an hour’s grooming. But if there’s a shortage of bananas, then a banana might warrant two hours grooming and one monkey having to meet another monkey in a hotel room dressed as Paris Hilton or Wilma from the Flintstones.

In around 80,000 years from now the monkeys will have evolved so that they regulate these activities according to the prejudices of the ruling monkey class.

2 Responses to “Monkey Capitalism”

  1. Angela Harbutt Says:

    Great stuff Julian – though you forget that here in the UK we already have monkies running the country x

  2. Dave Atherton Says:

    Julian this is a preposterous article, “in a hotel room dressed as Paris Hilton or Wilma from the Flintstones.”

    The thinking man and Liberal would be expecting Carole Vorderman or Victoria Coren, and for the gerontophiles Joanna Lumley or Felicity Kendall. Nigella Lawson if you must.