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“MPs might kill themselves” warns Tory Nadine Dorries

May 22nd, 2009 Posted in Uncategorized by

dorriesIn a rather peevish rant on her blog*, Tory MP Nadine Dorries has claimed (whether in jest or not, I can’t tell) that MPs “fear a suicide” among their precious brethren.

Crikey. Could the poor darlings really be under such pressure? Could an MP really be driven to a solemn walk into a heated, marble floored bathroom, to take hold of a Taylor’s of Old Bond Street Original Ivory Razor Blade, to slide it across their wrist, now naked of their Swiss watch perchance purchased at a recent UN meeting, to sink their bleeding wrist into an off-jade bespoke Habitat “Roman Sink” style basin full of warm water?

Who knows, Reader, who knows?

But thanks to Nadine, we do know who’s to blame. In her blog post, under the title “Clarification”, she states that this morbid atmosphere has arisen “because this country has never had a Prime Minister with the political courage to stand up to the British media, and award MPs the pay rise proposed.”

Ah yes, that’ll be it. They stole money for fake mortgages because they weren’t paid enough. Good.

Of course, they could have just got another job, but then they wouldn’t be serving the public, would they? No. So little option but to have the old moat cleaned, or to employ your own kids (whether or not they actually do any work).

Yes, right ho, I understand. Carry on now.

[Photo courtesy of ToryBear]

* Update: Link not working due to Dorries’ blog being taken down. For more on this, check Dizzy.

4 Responses to ““MPs might kill themselves” warns Tory Nadine Dorries”

  1. Gandhi Says:

    Somebody’s been watching too many ‘Downfall’ skits, none of the current crop of MPs are ‘honourable’ enough to go out like the Hitlers in their bunker.

    I think that says it all really.


  2. Simon Says:

    I heard her ranting on LBC, much the same sort of stuff, Londoners who called in were unimpressed.

    I wonder how many of these MP’s are going to be returned to Parliament after the next election. They’re going to have a serious grudge and five years to take their revenge on us and the media. Given that it’s a one party setup to all intents and purposes they could go on a law making spree which makes the excesses of the last 12 years look tame by comparison.

    More repressive and intrusive laws, gagging of the press, dissenters (“terrorists” by then) detained, it makes for quite an uncomfortable scenario but one that I reckon is all too likely to happen. They’ll make sure the Telegraph episode can never happen again and then put the boot in a bit more for good measure.


  3. Ziggy Encaoua Says:

    Some Tory MP is saying that all the fuss over his expenses is due to people being jealous


  4. Steve Says:

    I know a mob when I see one, and I refuse to be part of this mob or any other. Of course MPs’ expenses should be made public and their behaviour scrutinised, but not in this way. Not in my name. Good for Nadine Dorries for speaking up.